It’s not OUR autism…

We wanted to walk in the neighborhood together this morning. This way, we could get up later than 4AM, so that we would have enough energy to go on an adventure either tomorrow or Tuesday. Besides, it was way too hot for Fannar to walk anyway and cycling/skating would cost too much time to prepare for.
Literally as soon as we opened our eyes, mother sent a text message and without waiting for our reply, she opened her door. Our door was already open (because HOT, we have the afternoon- and night ☀️ blasting upon our side of the roof), so my man had to RUN to the door after putting his socks on.
Strange, we thought, normally she waits another minute or two and that’s when one of her dogs needs to go out, so, why couldn’t she wait this time..?!
So it turns out she’s been incompetent once more. Remember when about a month ago she was otherwise occupied (I’m being cynical here, I mean, whether we walk Fannar it’s eyes on him 24/7) in the park and forgot to look after the buggy that her dog was in…? The buggy rode itself in the pond, taking her dog and all of her stuff with it.
Today was no exception: the dachshund she looks after, yes, the one that kept barking for an hour and caused my sensory bucket to overflow which resulted in a migraine attack. Well, she obsessively eats EVERYTHING she gets her paws on. Like, everything.
She supposedly ate snails. Yes. I’m assuming she did the last night when mother walked back home from her BF. I’m being distracted once again by that sentence, because I can’t phantom the fact that mother NEVER EVER stays at his place, something she once used to do, giving my man and I a little bit more freedom……
Anyway.
Snails. They could potentially, no, they most likely carry this French longworm disease. And somehow, mother knew the dachshund ate them, without being able to stop the dog. And without acting immediately (so it turned out, I mean, the whole of her floor including the dachshund was covered in puke and blood), she went to bed.
And then decides to not notice the dog being sick all over the place and deal with it as soon as we wish to get to to spend a little bit of time outside…. This wasn’t the first time…. There have been periods where she would disturb literally every night on row (not to mention her returning to her house every single night between 12PM and 1AM).
Normally, especially a mother, would deal with this asap and as quietly as possible. She didn’t know when or where we were gonna walk and as it’s a Sunday, we ALWAYS go outside. The way SHE dealt with it was shouting and repeatedly telling us how long this all was gonna take and that she wasn’t gonna be finished “for a looooooooong time”…
I’m writing this as we’re still in my room, waiting for her to be gone to wherever the fuck she thinks she needs to be. Somehow, when she has a problem or something to deal with, it becomes everyone’s problem. When she just got back from going to the vet (yes, the dog is very ill and so she needed to visit an emergency vet as it is Sunday), she was surrounded by at least 6 other people in the middle of the road and I heard her voice echoing. I think if it were up to her, she would literally scream it off the rooftops.
The point is: we don’t get to be autistic anymore today. The ironic thing is that SHE’S the one who’s made us VERY autistic by doing EVERYTHING the very same way on the very same days for as long as I can remember.
Today we have to deal with everything – every change. And not only that, we have to guess. Guess when she’s returning home, guess what she’s up to and guess whether she does the things she normally does, well, compulsorily.
She’s left us completely in the dark and I feel like I can’t address her with it, because her answer would be something like: “Think about me! See what “I’m” going through!” Sooo… She would blow up my simple question and think Id attack her or pretend Im suffering and I dont know why, she’s been like this for forever. I think it’s because she’s struggling with herself.
She’s about to leave now, which gives us more than an hour less than other days, because guess what: she doesn’t want to stay away longer than usual, it’s my man and I who get to have less time, NOT her…..